This is Beauty

A single note drifts through the cool night air

It resinates wih calm and soothing bravdado as it caresses my ear

As my mind swoons underneath it's touch, I embrace the sensation

I choose to loose myself in the air of the moment as my soul is liberated

This is beauty

Governing Beauty

Today as I was listening to the 44th presidential inauguration, I was struck by the beauty of the democratic system that is the United States Government. The beauty that I speak of manifests itself in its ability to change hands in an eloquent and graceful dance that is the presidential inauguration. This was beautifully illustrated in today's events.

Before I unveil this illustration, let me first draw a backdrop to frame it, for just as a color by itself is just a color, however beautiful it may be, becomes a thing to be valued only when it is put into the context of a painting. All around the world there are as many different forms of government as there are countries for them to govern. A large majority of these governments do not handle transfer of power gracefully. There are precious few that have learned to make it work, but for the rest, a transfer of power is generally accompanied by a military or political coup, a civil war, or a conflict of some flavor or another, major or minor. That being said, let me present the beauty that is the United States Government.

At every presidential inauguration, the president takes the oath of office at exactly 12:00 noon because that is when the prior president's term ends and the president-elect's term begins; that's when the executive power is legally transferred. At the 2009 inauguration, in between the vice presidential oath of office (taken by former senator Joseph Biden) and the presidential oath of office (taken by the former senator and president-elect Barrack Obama), there was to be an arrangement played composed by John Williams especially for this occasion called "Air and Simple Gifts" . Playing this piece was cellist Yo Yo Ma, violinist Itzhak Perlman, clarinetist Anthony McGill, and pianist Gabriella Montero.

As it turns out, the ceremony was slightly behind schedule. Obama wouldn't be sworn in until after the transfer of power had already taken place. However, that slight lag in the schedule allowed for a most beautiful display of the grace and elegance of the United States democratic process.

The quartet began to play. The arrangement by John Williams was a beautiful piece. It began with a slow prolonged violin solo, somewhat somber in tone reflecting the troubled nature of the times. Then Ma came in with the cello and it lightened a bit but still very beautifully captured the air of the time as it was a mix of minor and major strains. Then McGill came in with a light and melodic allusion to "Simple Gifts". The musicians then began playing a variation of "Simple Gifts" as they continued in a cheery yet pensive tone. The piece ended with a confindent set of prolonged chords, capped by a single bassy note held by Ma. Because the ceremony was slightly behind schedule, the musicians were still playing when the clock clicked over to 12:00 noon. In fact they were still in the middle of the piece.

Think about that for moment. That is absolutely beautiful! If you saw the inauguration, you may have felt it yourself. In a world where transfer of power within governments is often accompanied with conflict and often violence, on January 20th, 2009 in the United States of America, the transfer of power occurred to a chorus of inspiring strains of music. While countries around the world war with themselves and plot and plan against their own in order to usher in a new government, we, the United States, do it with beautiful melodies. How absolutely breathtaking is that!

At the end of President Obama's inaugural address, he concluded with the words, "God bless the United States of America." God has blessed the United States of America. His hand has been on us for quite some time. Even though we take the blessings He gives and misuse them, squander them, and even sometimes ignore them completely, He continues to shine His divine light on us. We are a beacon of light in a world so full of darkness. Testimony to this is the fact that our own government can change hands to such a beautiful and eloquent display.

We asked God to bless America. He answered. Our move.

Curious George

I've been listening to a song by Jack Johnson called "Upside Down". I really like it, partly because it's just a fun song, but also partly because it's from the soundtrack of Curious George the Movie. So, after listening to this for a week or so, it reminded me so much of the light heartedness that Curious George has, I decided I needed to watch the movie.

So, I went down to my local video rental establishment and rented Curious George the Movie... and I watched it. There's something about Curious George that, no matter what situation I'm in, no matter where I find myself, no matter how I feel, makes me smile. Is it his lightheartedness, or is it something more? It could be because he's a monkey, and monkeys are fun, but I don't think that's quite it.

When I think of Curious George, I think of a lot of things. I think of my childhood. I read Curious George books when I was a kid. Life was so simple back then. Sure, it had it's hardships and tough questions like, 'why can't I stay up and watch TV' or the difficult fact that we have to eat all our vegetables before we can have our dessert, but for the most part, life was easy; no responsibilities, no worries. I think also of Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. The movie begins and ends with a feather and a Curious George book. And, of course, I think of children.

All these things have a common thread, a common intersection: Innocence. That's what draws me to Curious George, and that's what conjures up a smile no matter the circumstance. Innocence. It's something that every person on the planet possessed at the beginning of their life. Some keep it longer than others, but we all are born with it. That's what Curious George personifies. A blissful naiveté that is unaware of the pressures and stresses of life and consumed not by the monotonous rhythms of daily life, but rather by the mystery and splendor that is the world surrounding him. It's something that I long for. It's something that one can only truly appreciate once it's been lost.

I believe this is the state in which we were created, and from which we were meant to live. In the beginning, it was just us, God, and the garden. Our needs were met, we had no worries, no anxieties. We were just left to be filled with wonder at the world which we had been created a part of. We were completely innocent. It was, quite literally, heaven on earth. But then sin entered the picture, and here we are.

But there is a hope. We have hope that we can once again enter into that state of blissful naiveté and innocence that is untouched by the horrors and sorrows of this world. This hope exists in Christ. It was with God that we were first created pure, and it's in and through Christ that we can be remade into that spotless existence once again. Only this time, with a very deep appreciation of what it means to be innocent. If Christ's outstretched hands and gift of re-creation find our acceptance, than a transformation back to innocence can take place. There will come a time when our worries will be no more; our sorrows will be soothed and the horrors of the world will be snuffed. Our existence will be wrapped up with and sustained fully by God, and we'll have nothing to do but be consumed by the wonder of both God's redeemed creation and God himself. We will regain the purity that we see so evident in children, and we find in Curious George.

Why does Curious George make me smile? Curious George makes me smile because it's in him, in his simple curiosity, that I see a glimpse of where we came from, and a hope of where we're going.

Tear

What is a tear that it carries such power?
Much more than a mere saline snivel,
a tear can sooth, and a tear can comfort.
A tear can destroy, and a tear can tear apart.
A tear can mark a beginning,
a tear can force an end.
A single tear can say more
than can a thousand pages.
Looking through a tear,
one can see into one's own soul.
Looking into a tear,
one can see through the defenses of the mind.
A tear can bare witness to the crushing depths of the heart.
A tear can uncover the soul.

What is a tear that it carries such power?
A single tear can force mighty men to the ground.
A single tear can bring forth emotion
from the most hardened heart.
With a single tear,
one can summon many in others.
One tear can render a myriad
of emotions and emancipate the heart
amidst a mire of intransigent indifference.
With one tear, the soul is liberated.
With one tear, an emotion is captured.

What is a tear that it carries such power?
A tear is an historian,
speaking of things past.
A tear is a prophet,
revealing that which is to come.
A tear is a traitor,
revealing secrets we would do well to keep.
A tear is small,
A tear is weak,
A tear is timid
But...

What is a tear that it carries such power?

A Beautiful Sunrise

I was out at a rustic old cabin made out of a barn one weekend for a retreat and something beautiful was shown to me by God. To give a little foundation to this story, this barn is out in the middle of the Kansas country, so the surrounding land is fairly flat; there's a few hills here and there, but for the most part, the skyline is level all the way around the house. And in this house, at the top of the roof, there is a small coop that has windows on all sides of it so you can survey the surrounding country from an elevated position. So one morning, before anyone else was awake, I went up into this coop to look at the sunrise (which, if you're from Kansas, or somewhere where the horizon is unadulterated by a lot of man made clutter, you know that sunrises can be spectacular. So I went up to look at the sunrise this particular morning, but was disappointed when I looked out. The sun was indeed coming up, but there was nothing else in the sky. It was just the sun trying to peek over the horizon. There were no clouds, no birds, nothing.

Before you begin scratching your head and pondering what might possibly be wrong with me that I could be disappointed with a crystal clear, blue skyed sunrise, allow me to explain. I am an artist, so I appreciate and, in fact, love scenes that are full of color and shape and line and texture, so my favorite sunrises (and sunsets) are those with clouds sharing the sky with the sun. So it follows that when I saw the sun alone in the sky, I was somewhat disappointed, though it was still a majestic sight to behold.

This made me think, as I was talking with one of my fellow retreaters. The most beautiful sunrises I've ever seen have been in a sky populated with clouds, puffy, jagged, fluffy, wispy clouds with surfaces to catch the suns red and yellow light filtering through the atmosphere, peeking over the globe. This was a novel thought. The sunrises that are most beautiful are the ones that happen when the sky is not perfect. When the sky contains blemishes and imperfections, when it is not crystal clear and pure open blue, the most beautiful sunrises are produced because the sun, of course, is there, but the clouds, reflecting the suns glorious light create a beautiful and captivating tapestry of color and light. With oranges and blues and reds and pinks and yellows, the sky seems to explode into a panorama of expression. I don't know about you, but when I look at a sunrise such as what I describe here, I am filled with a wonder at how such a thing could be created.

And as I was talking with my fellow retreater, I made the connection that I'd like to share with you. A sunrise is very much like us, as children of God, as brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus is, no doubt, beautiful all by Himself. The Glory of God become man and perfected through trial and fire and pain, and shining from the inside out with the powerful and glorious light of God can be nothing other than beautiful. But much like a sunrise, as we enter the picture with Christ, we become part of his beautiful scene, as his light reflects off of us. But like the clouds in the sky, we are not perfect. We are not pure and spotless, free of blemish. We have jagged edges, fluffy parts, wispy parts, all parts that when Christ shines his light on us, catch and reflect it back to him and out into the world around us. It's our imperfections that make us beautiful. It's our failures and our weaknesses, and our shortcomings, and our blemishes that in the light of Christ become a tapestry of oranges and blues and reds and pinks and yellows that are capable of taking the breath away from those who see it. Jesus said it as he was talking to the apostle paul: In your weaknesses, my power is made perfect. You might say, in our weakness, in our imperfection, Christ's beauty is made perfect.

If we were all perfect, Christ work on the cross would not mean much, and our redemption would mean little if anything. To redeem a perfect creation, one not need do anything. But when a creature is utterly corrupted, when it has been soiled beyond repair and made vile in the site of its creator, when the created has been made unfit to even be in the presence of the creator and then it redeemed, restored to a right relationship and made to be one with the creator, that is beautiful beyond anything that we could ever see or experience in this world. It's our imperfections that make Christ beautiful in the eyes of unbelievers, of those who don't know Him. It's the fact that we have our faults, we have our downfalls and we have our shortcomings but still can claim and exhibit the life and beauty of Christ in us through His redemptive work on the cross that most beautifully and effectively exhibits his wondrous redemptive power, and the amazing and outrageous grace that flow from his wounded body.

So don't hide it, brothers. Don't cover it up Sisters. Don't sweep it under the rug and pretend like it isn't there. Bring it out into the Light and allow Christ's power to reflect off it and refract through it as He covers it with his blood. Bring your ugly bits out into the open, and watch in amazement as He transforms them into a beautiful Son rise amongst his creation. If you are a redeemed creature, you have nothing that is not covered. Come out into the Light, all of you, and be glorified by His wonderful light!

Infinite Love

I just finished a wonderful book. It's called The Irresistible Revolution written by Shane Claiborne. It's primarily about the emerging underground Christian movement that's spreading and growing across North America, and throughout the world. The book has opened my eyes to a lot of things that I'd never thought about, but make a ridiculous amount of sense now that I see them in the light. One of the more potent things I've seen, and that I'd like to share, is a new angle, or a new paradigm through which I now see my identity in Christ and my relationship with God.

Growing up, and even after I committed my life to Christ, I had a very westernized, Americanized view of Christianity. Jesus died so that I could live. Let me unpack that. I was dead in my sin, condemned under God's wrath, and then Jesus arrived like a knight in brilliant white satin armor and stood in between me and God, absorbing the wrath that had been prepared for me. My debt being paid, my righteousness restored, I could now commune with God and enter into eternal life, having the life of Christ now inside me (Colossians 2:13-14). That is all true; beautifully and wonderfully true. But that's not all. There's more to this life we have in Christ than being joyful and freed from the burdens of sin and the worries of this world.

All that I've just described was purchased by Christ's blood on the Cross. God sent his passover lamb to atone for the sins of his children. The cross was only the atoning sacrifice. God could have done that in a few hours, a few days at the most. But God didn't do that. He spent 33 years in and among his creation. If the sacrifice could have been made, done and over with in a few days, why did he wait so long before he did it?

A year or two ago, the answer that I would have given to that question is "so that he could suffer through the ordeals and hardships, temptations and desires, fears and sorrows in this fallen world in order that he can help us overcome our own." And you know what, that's all true. Christ lived in this world and overcome it in order that we may be freed from it's power in Him. But that's not all. Christ overcame the world so that we can rise above it, but to what end? If all we needed was a ticket out of suffering, he could kill us dead the minute we except his saving grace; that would do the trick. But that's not what happens. There's something more here than just our being freed.

If you read through the gospels and look at how Jesus lived his life, you begin to see patterns. Most of Jesus' recorded interactions with people took place among those who needed healing, who needed love, who needed grace. There are interactions throughout the gospels between Jesus and the religious and social elite, but a majority of his time spent with people is among the oppressed and the poor (both physically and spiritually destitute). He even tells us what's going on. "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17) He's not here to simply take away our condemnation, He's here to heal us.

Our ailment is not that of the physical world (though it may manifest itself that way at times), our sickness is a spiritual sickness. We live in a world that has fallen away from God and his life giving affections. We are born, and continue to be until the restoration of our relationship with God, spiritually anemic. We lack the life giving love that flows into us from God.

When you look at how Jesus lived, you can see Him again and again give the people around him life-giving, energizing love to counter their spiritual anemia. That's how he lived, and that's how we, as followers of Christ, are to live. We, possessing the well of living water that is the indwelling spirit of Christ in us, have what the people around us need.

I know a lot of people (I was once, and still may be from time to time, one of them) who hear this message and say, "I know! That's why I'm on the corner telling people about the life giving power of Jesus. That's why I hand out tracts, that's why I tell people that Jesus is the only way to salvation, that's why... etc." But that's not what people need. James says it best, "If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking daily food, and one of you says to him, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?" (James 2:15-16) People don't need to know about Jesus, they need to see Jesus, they need to experience Jesus. They don't need to know about the energizing shot of love, they need the energizing shot of love. A lot of people know about Jesus. Some people even know enough about Him that they know that they need what He has, but tragically, no one has ever showed them His face, or His love, and they remain anemic, despising Him for not coming to help.

The reason (at least one of them) that Jesus lived in the world and overcame it in order that we can overcome it in Him is so that we can be Jesus to those around us. Having overcome the world, no longer being subject to its pressures and stresses, having found our worth in something not of this world, we are able to absorb the pains and sorrows of others who are not yet in Christ. Having Christ as our anchor, we are able to lift enormous burdens. We are able to give until it hurts because the love that we give out of doesn't run out. We are able to allow those we are trying to help to trample us as we hold out the Gift of love to those who need it. We are able to get punched in the face, kicked in the throat, kneed in the groin, socked in the stomach, and kicked in the shins, and get back up and say, "I love you and want to help" because the love that we have, the love that flows from God, has no limit. The love of an eternal God is eternal.

This gives us enormous strength. Strength to move mountains, strength to change the world. If you are in Christ, if you have a relationship with Christ and his love is flowing into you, you have this strength. Most of us don't realize that we have this strength because we never flex our Jesus muscles. We always try and do things out of our own strength, out of our own will, out of our own love, and whatever we can't do out of our own ability, we label as impossible (I know, because I'm one of those people). We rely on our own strength, never stepping out in faith that Jesus' love will carry us.

If you're a follower of Christ, if you have a living relationship with God, you are capable of infinite love. In this finite world, in your finite body, you have been given an infinite love. Use it. Trust it. Go to those who need it and give it to them. An infinite love cannot be for one person, nor can it be kept inside. The finite cannot contain the infinite. You can't experience the full love of Christ without an outlet (it won't fit). It has to flow through you. Use the love, let Christ's love keep you together while the world tears you apart. Loose your life for them and find it in Him. Jesus came into this world to show us how to do this. Jesus came to show us how to be Jesus to others. You can follow Him and experience an infinite love, allowing it to flow through you, or you can sit and do nothing and only experience what love you can fit inside your finite being. It's up to you. Don't settle for the finite when you can have the infinite.

Letting Go of Egypt

In the desert, as the Israelites walked through the wilderness with nothing but the guiding presence of God to let them know when or where they were going, they cried out against Moses, saying "Would that we had died by the hand of the LORD in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger." (Exodus 16:3) Focusing on what they were lacking, focusing on their current pain and discomfort, the people of God forgot the conditions they had come from. Though they did have food to eat, their days were filled with very hard labor and cruel treatment by their taskmasters. What they had forgotten, or lost sight of, is that they were no longer under the oppression of the Pharaoh and the Egyptians, but on their way to a land promised them through a covenant between God and Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. In their hunger, they remembered not where they were going, but where they had been. The purpose of their liberation from Egypt was to go out and "Serve the LORD". God wanted them to let go of Egypt and cling to and worship Him for what He did, but more for who He is: Almighty God, creator and father of all.

Recently several areas of my life have been thrown into a state of uncertainty, one right after another, and it's unnerving. Having just graduated from College 5 months ago, I'm finding myself in a similar situation as the Israelites in Exodus. From age 5 until age 24, school has been a constant. Up until now, school has been my Egypt. Now before you draw the wrong conclusion, I loved school. School is the reason for many, many very good and positive memories in my life. I wouldn't trade my experiences I've had during the last 19 years for anything in the world, but school has been my Egypt in the sense that it has consumed a very large part of my time, my attention, and my thoughts. School, while enjoyable, has been a very demanding taskmaster.

Now that I've come out of Egypt, I find myself now wandering in the wilderness. With the way seemingly open on all sides and with no path to follow, I'm dependent on God's guiding presence to lead me safely to the place that He has for me. As with Israel in the deserts of northern Africa, my situation at any given time is somewhat uncertain, and each new situation presents a new opportunity to put my trust in God (or to grumble and yearn for situations past).

I'm confident that everyone, no matter their social strata or economic status, has had, and will have times when their lives seem to be in a state of flux, a time when everything, or a lot of things seem to be changing in an uncertain manner, or with an uncertain outcome. It's at these times that God is wanting us to let go of Egypt, whatever Egypt might be, and trust and worship him for what He has done, what He will do, but most importantly, who He is: Almighty God, Creator, Sustainer, Liberator, Savior, Father, and Son.

Arms High and
Heart Abandoned

This evening, I was singing along with the worship band at this week's Thursday night meeting of the KSU Navigators, and they began to sing a chorus that really made me think and challenged me. The chorus went like this, "I stand, with arms wide and heart abandoned, In awe of the one who gave it all. I stand with arms wide and heart surrendered, all I am is yours." This chorus was repeated over and over again, and this at the end of a rather energetic worship set. Singing this over and over again with my own arms in the air, I began to think about the message that was just delivered by Bob Walz, the speaker of the night. His message was about the thirsting of our hearts and the quenching water of Christ. But in the message, he talked about Jesus using metaphor to turn our minds to spiritual things, which are foreign to us, using physical images, which are very familiar to us. Thinking about this while singing this wonderful chorus led me to think, what kind of metaphor could this chorus hold about spiritual things? Of course, it was speaking of worshiping God with energy and vigor and with a recklessly open heart, but though connected to spiritual things, that is still mostly a physical act. Then this thought popped into my head: Standing with arms high is a way to worship in such a way that others can be encouraged and share in your joy. What other way can I worship in that manner? I can share my Lord with people, share what He's done for me, and share with them the promises that a relationship with Him can hold for them. That's worshiping God just as much, if not more, than singing with hands raised high. But, as the testimony of others and my own personal experience have shown, this may lead to some hardship in the sense that people may treat me differently because of what I've shared with them. People may be inclined to keep their distance for whatever reason. This can produce some heavy heart-ache, especially if my heart is invested in the people I share these things with. But that's the second part of the song's chorus: I stand with arms high and heart abandoned. An abandoned heart is a heart that's been left in the open to be broken; one that's no longer protected from being broken. Abandoning my own heart in order that others might come to know the redeeming grace and abundant joy of a relationship with Christ Jesus is, I believe, a high form of worship. That is a desire of mine, to stand with arms high and heart abandoned, but this is not something that one just does one Saturday afternoon. This is a lifestyle. And it's a hard one at that. To seriously live it out one needs to count the cost, and when I do that, I keep coming to the same point. I see what it will cost, and shrink back. I can't tell you why, because I don't quite know, but I do know that I want very much to have the fortitude to count the cost and say "count me in!" Perhaps what my problem is is that I'm only counting the cost. I'm looking at this lifestyle and thinking, "what will this cost me." I think, what will I need to give up, what will I need to deal with, where and how will this hurt? What I don't consider is, what will this give me. How will this benefit me. What will I gain from this lifestyle, and more than that, what will others gain from this lifestyle of mine. In that light, I can say that the decision gets easier. In living a lifestyle of arms high and heart abandoned, I may loose some friends, but I also may gain brothers and sisters. My heart may be broken when someone I've trusted in, loved on, and laid my heart out before rejects what I have to say and me along with it, but I may also get the chance to rejoice with someone who's just found the fulfilling love and all-sufficient grace of Jesus Christ in their lives. I may loose sleep thinking about the people who haven't responded to Christ's invitation, but I also may rejoice in the ones who have received life, and life eternal. When one counts the cost of this lifestyle, it looks hard and dim and painful. But when one weighs the cost of this lifestyle against the benefit, the scenario changes. We begin to see our life as Christ saw his: in other people. This chorus is my desire for my own life. I stand with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the one who gave it all. I stand with arms high and heart surrendered. All I am is Yours.

Selfless Living

Jason and I have just finished Matthew, the first Gospel and first book of the New Testament. Jason is a young man I'm helping to find his way in his walk of faith; some might call this discipleship. Anyway, we are, through the course of the next three semesters, reading through the New Testament, excepting the Revelation of John, in search of what it means and what it looks like for us to die to ourselves and take up our cross. As I've read through the pages of Matthew's Gospel letter, I've found with the help of the Holy Spirit bits of wisdom and elements of truth here and there concerning the theme at hand. Overall, what I found throughout the entire book was something I had not anticipated but should have expected.

As I read through the chapters of Matthew as he's retelling Jesus' story, I found myself confronted with not a collection of clues or a list of principles by which to live a life of selfless surrender, but rather the life and character and very nature of God as it was demonstrated in and through Christ. As I was looking for a method or a philosophy to help me shape my life into the self-denying image of the Christians that inhabited the first century church, I found instead a reason to shape my life into such a pattern of living. Reading about Jesus and his life among his creation, I began to see that I was approaching this study with a slightly skewed focus. When I drew up this study, my goal was to comb the scriptures from Matthew to Jude for wisdom and principles to guide my pursuit of life dead to self, completely surrendered to Christ. The error of this approach is best captured by one of Jesus' parables in chapter twelve of Matthew.

"43When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. 44Then it says, 'I will return to my house from which I came.' And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. 45Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first. So also will it be with this evil generation."

Building up to this passage, Matthew records the Pharisees testing Jesus, calling him Satan or a demon, and then demanding a sign. Then it's with the story of the return of an unclean spirit that he tells the Pharisees why he doesn't give them a sign. If they had proof that Jesus was in fact the son of God, they would, in the habit of their ingrained cultural mindset, attempt to follow and be devout to Jesus on their own power, apart from the Holy Spirit, forsaking the old covenant by which the Jews at his point in God's story received their communion with and blessing from God. They would, in an attempt to serve God in the only way that they knew how, leave themselves wide open to the influences of the enemy, the evil and unclean spirits of the world. Without the indwelling power of Christ's Holy Spirit and the righteousness that only He can give, a life in pursuit of pleasing God would prove disastrous (the Pharisee's demonstrated this with their customs and religiosity). The only thing staying the fatal wrath of God for them was their connection to Abraham and their citizenship in God's nation). As they would stray form God's Law that came by Moses, trying to follow Christ's teachings, they would leave their lives open to all kinds of outside influences.

My point in all this is that as Jason and I are seeking to find the path of God-honoring selflessness, to die to self, we must not leave our hearts and souls vacant. As we learn how to kill ourselves in a manner of speaking, we also need to seek to replace the freshly vacant place in our lives with something that will firmly and permanently occupy it, or it will be filled with something that we won't like, or that is not good for us. As we die slowly to ourselves, we need to look to Christ to fill that empty space that's been created. This is exactly what was stated in the intent of this three semester study Jason and I are undertaking, but up front, I didn't see what it really meant. As we lay ourselves down, we need to pick up the cross of Christ. Part of that is knowing what the cross is all about. And knowing what the cross is all about, we must know what Christ is all about. In short, the gospel of Matthew and the others (Mark, Luke, & John) are not places to glean principles for living or clues on how to live a Godly, selfless life. The Gospels are a place to look for a reason for living a Godly, selfless life. It is only on this strong foundation that the teachings and wisdom recorded in the acts of the apostles and their epistles can be applied in a Christ centered and God honoring way. To die to self and take up our cross literally means to lay down ourselves and take up Christ. Do this, set yourself aside and make Christ your entire purpose for living, and you will see a new world unfold before you eyes and experience a joy that was previously unthinkable.

Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." --Matthew 16:24

The Strength of the Ox

King David was a strong and very influential man in the life and times of the Biblical Kingdom of Israel. He was the 'great warrior king' and a 'man after God's own heart'. He conquered the enemies of Israel, and held his reign over God's nation with His anointing for the longest of all the kings of Israel. It is fitting a king of David's character and reputation would produce the wisest earthly king ever to hold the throne of Israel. King Solomon, David's son, found favor with God as he prayed for wisdom to lead God's people. Finding Solomon to be a righteous man with a heart to please Him, God gave solomon all wisdom and blessed his reign with riches beyond compare. Solomon eventually lost God's favor by turning away from His commands, turning instead to the pleasures of this world. He did, however, impart his wisdom to countless generations through his books preserved in the scriptures before he made his exit, most notably the book of Proverbs (coming right after the book of Psalms, a good portion of which was written by his father). In the verses of Proverbs, we find many profound truths and observations of reality. I'd like to focus on one of these verses in particular. This proverb is profoundly accurate in describing simultaneously the truth lying at the core of both a life lived to the full and a life squandered.

Proverbs chapter fourteen verse four reads, " Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox." These words, up front may seem like meaningless ramblings, but within these two phrases are contained a truth that one would do well to pay attention to. To begin with, let's look at the two sides of this proverb and discuss and dissect it for its face value. The first part of the proverb states that "where there are no oxen, the manger is clean." Without overanalyzing it, this makes sense. If a manger is meant to house oxen, that will naturally mean that oxen would eat there. And where oxen eat they... well lets just say what goes up must come down if you catch my drift. Of course, if there are no oxen to... come down in the manger, the manger is clean. Easy stuff. What this also implies, as we can see, is that where there are oxen, the manger is messy. Anyone who has ever been around a feed yard where cattle are kept, or in a dairy barn, or in a stable knows that, when these are full of their respective tenants, they tend to have a very distinct oder. It's messy.

The second part of the proverb argues, "but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox." In the time when this was written, oxen were used as beasts of burden. They were used to pull carts, thresh grain, and tow plows. Any farmer that was serious about growing any kind of crop had an ox or a team of oxen. Basically, the ox was the equivalent of a tractor. So, to have any kind of crop, oxen were necessary. Pretty straight forward right? By putting these two face-value observations together, we should get a clearer picture of what this proverb is meant to communicate. Oxen are messy to keep, and to be without them would result in a clean(er) environment, but if one is to expect to raise a crop, one must have them.

It seems that, like most of Solomon's proverbs, it presents us with two incompatible realities. Reality one: Life without oxen is a clean one. Reality two: Life with oxen produces abundant crops. In presenting us with two realities that are mutually exclusive, that is, two realities that cannot exist together, Solomon presents us with a choice: Reality one, or reality two. In short, we can choose to be clean and tidy, or to be productive. It is in this distilled simplification of the proverb that we find truth that we can apply to many areas of our life. For example, if you have a shiny new car, you can either put in a garage or under a cover and never drive it in order to preserve its clean and shiny appearance, or you can use it to get from point A to point B and get it dirty with grime and dust and bugs and bird poo. The first choice would keep the car looking pretty and shiny, but would not be very practical at all. You would have an eighteen thousand dollar center-peice. The other choice would foul the pretty and shiny appearance of the car, but would allow you to travel much more quickly and easily between places. Or, to use a slightly more abstract example, one could either stay at home all day and do only the things one wanted to do like watch TV and sleep and maybe spend some time outdoors at one's own leisure, or one could get a job and work during the weekdays and subject oneself to activities that maybe aren't at the top of the list of fun things, in order that one can earn some money to live with. While the first sounds like it would be a good life to live, it wouldn't be very productive, and the quality of life would be severely hindered by a lack of resources. But the other choice would limit some of the immediate gratification, but would yield more resources and thus more options when the time came to enjoy ones free time.

The context that this applies most directly to, and that I would like to highlight, is that of the spiritual life, specifically, that of a believer; a follower of Christ. Jesus, in his commands and parables, tells us to do some things that could get pretty messy, some things that could drastically alter the course of one's life. In hearing these commands and the promises of what obeying these commands will yield, we are faced with the decision of Proverbs 14:4. We can remain clean and tidy, or we can dive into life headfirst for Christ and get messy, dirtying up our shiny lives and producing a crop for harvest. Jesus says "Give to the one who begs form you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you" (Matthew 5:42). He also says that when we give aid to those in need, we give aid to Jesus himself, who will in turn give us the Kingdom of heaven (Matthew 25:34,40). So when confronted with this command it's resulting effect, we can either, keep for ourselves our resources and our time, and let those in need find their own, maintaining a self-appeasing lifestyle, or we can give of our resources and our time, sacrificing what enjoyment we could have gained from those things for the enjoyment of others, and ultimately the eternal reward that is created in Heaven. The first is clean, and safe, and not very challenging, but it flies in the face of productivity for God's Kingdom. The second is messy; sometimes producing uncertain outcomes, and leaving us in situations that we might not be comfortable in, but will produce fruit in our lives and possibly the lives of others. The truth is, to follow Christ, to obey His commands and live the lifestyle that He calls all believers to live is messy and stinky and at times it can be very hard. But it's that lifestyle, the lifestyle that creates a messy and stinky and hard life, that will produce the most fruit for the Kingdom of God. Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox.

The Wonderful Suffering of Christ
An Easter Letter

It's March fifteenth, a Saturday, and as I sit reading Matthew's Gospel letter, I arrive at Matthew 26:30, as Jesus tells his disciples they will all fall away. Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, so I am especially tuned into the Passion of Christ. As I get to 26:36 where Jesus begins to pray at Gathsemane, I begin to pay close attention to how Jesus acts in addition to what he says. Before he begins to pray, after taking Peter, James, and John on further into the garden, Matthew says Jesus "began to be sorrowful and troubled". Jesus, the Son of God, the King of Kings, who in the face of demons and even death itself maintained a calm and composed demeanor, was sorrowful and troubled. Matthew goes on. After telling his disciples that he is "sorrowful, even to death," and telling his disciples to wait where they were, Jesus goes further and falls on his face and prays "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not as I will, but as you will." Ignoring the prayer for a moment, what do Jesus' actions say about what he will soon be facing?

First, he becomes uncharacteristically heavy-hearted, and then he goes to pray, falling on his face. That, coupled with the prayer that he prays, gives us the impression that Jesus knew what was coming, and he knew it was going to be very hard. Matthew goes on. After he finds his disciples asleep and rebukes them, he goes to pray again. This time he prays "My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done." While this is a slightly different prayer from the first, I think we can safely infer that the desire behind the prayer is the same. We can see that Jesus is very troubled by what lies ahead of him. Matthew goes on. Jesus gets up and goes back to his disciples, finds them asleep again, but instead of rebuking them again, he goes back and prays again, the same prayer. To get a deeper perspective on what Christ was feeling here, I'll take you to Chapter 22 of Luke's Gospel letter. In Luke 22:44, Luke says, "And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground." Here we see in Luke's writing that Jesus wasn't just sorrowful or troubled, he was in agony. Dictionary.com defines agony as "extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering." Here we see Jesus' state of "troubled-ness" goes a bit deeper than what Matthew describes. It is clear to see, that Jesus, at this moment, would rather not do what he came to do. This seems to contradict Hebrews 12:2, which says "...for the joy set before him [Jesus] endured the cross..." But when you take the time to think through this contradiction, these two passages fit together to give us a greater picture of Jesus suffering. The agony of the crucifixion didn't begin when Jesus was scourged and beaten, but rather as he prayed in Gathsemane. Jesus, the Son of God, was both fully God and fully man, subject to all the pains, anxieties, and gut-wrenching emotions that we are. I would argue that part of the agony of the cross was the anxiety and fear that Jesus felt as he prayed in Gathsemane; as the hour of his pain, his payment in exchange for billions and billions of eternities of Hell, was growing close. It is here where he first shed blood, and it is here that he begins to feel the foot of God start to weigh heavy on him as God prepares to crush his own Son.

This Easter, think on this. And as you think on this, celebrate and revel in the love that God has for you and lift up prayers of joyful thankfulness as you, with all this in mind, think on Romans 5:7-8, which says "For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ [God] died for us." While Easter is a time to mourn that the broken world we live in and the broken and sinful bodies that we inhabit necessitated such a payment for sin, it is also a time to celebrate God's sovereignty, as no joy can be greater than the joy of a sinner saved, reconciled to the God and Creator for which he was made. This Easter, embrace the words of King David and join him in Psalm 71:23 - "My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed!"

Death and Dying

Tonight, I heard some challenging words from a man named Darrel McCarthy, one of the speakers/teachers of the "Perspectives on the World Christian Movement" class (a class that would benefit ANY Christ seeking Christian). He was talking about Jesus' mandate for the nations (a.k.a. the Great Commission). He talked about reaching peoples and nations and focusing on what is at the core of all of missions: one person telling another person about Jesus. Though I could write on this for pages, somewhere in these words were the words of which I spoke before. In his exaltation and encouragement to not only go, but "tell people about Jesus as you go", he mentioned some words that I'd forgotten about. When Darrel uttered these words, I knew in my heart that I was not conforming to the Jesus of the Bible. He said (and this he quoted from someone else) "When Jesus calls a person, He bids him come and die."

I am doing a lot of "good things", a lot of Biblically sound things; I study the scriptures, I pray, I meet regularly with the Body of Christ, which is his church. But one thing I was not doing was dying. "When Jesus calls a person, He bids him come and die." This statement is profoundly powerful, not just because of what it's saying, but because of what it means; or to put it another way, because of what it implies. I can say to you, if you work your body by running and lifting waits, your body will hurt. What that statement says is because you are working your body, it will hurt. What it implies is, because you are working your body, it will hurt not only after the work is over, but all the time you are working. So the statement "When Jesus calls a person, He bids him come and die" says, because you are following Jesus, you will die. But what it implies is, because you are following Jesus, you will not only die at the end of your journey, but you will also die the entire time you are following Jesus. Now think about that and compare that to your daily walk with Jesus (if you have one). If you can't see the way in which you're dying daily in your walk with Jesus, welcome to the table. Pull up a chair and listen. I will admit freely that I don't have the answers. If I did, and still found myself in this predicament, there would something seriously wrong with my relationship to Jesus. The only thing I have to offer here is some thoughts and encouragements; not answers.

As I heard these words come out of Darrel's mouth, I thought to myself, "That is not what my faith walk looks like. How can I make it look like that?" As I said before, I don't have an answer, but a few things were planted in my mind shortly after that moment. First of all, I came to the conclusion that I wanted to have a relationship with Jesus that led me to die daily, but the reality was I didn't. I didn't because I'd never explored what it actually looked like to die daily in MY life. I'd studied Jesus life, and Paul's life, briefly Peter's life, I'd seen the conclusion of Stephen's life; I knew what it meant to die daily, I just didn't know how that dying daily would manifest itself in my life. Then, I thought, these men all were persecuted beaten and imprisoned for their faith. If I somehow managed to get myself imprisoned for my faith in a country that boasts in its citizens' freedom to religion, that would be impressive, but most likely, I would be doing something contrary to the love and teachings of Christ. I then realized that it's not death itself, whether that is a physical death, or another kind of death, but rather the act of dying that is important. All throughout Jesus' life, he was dying daily, but it was the decision to die that was so massively important. For Paul, it was not the imprisonment and beatings that gave the most strength to those around him; it was the decision to carry out the action that carried those repercussions that gave those around him the most encouragement.

So through this series of thoughts I stumbled on an important piece of my puzzle. Jesus even says it! How could I have missed it? "Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (Matt. 16:25)." It's not the dying, but the decision to die. Now comes the big question, and the one I have no answer for at the moment. What does a decision to die look like in my life, or, in what capacity can I seek to lose my life for Christ's sake. It is something that I will have to think and pray about, to think and pray hard about because it's not a decision that will come easy. To choose to die, to will my life away, is something that is so absolutely contrary to our nature as humans that to those who don't know Christ, it's pure insanity, and to those who do know Christ, it seems impossible. "With man, this is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matt. 19:26)." Jesus said these words, and I believe him whole heartedly, but that doesn't make it any easier. I can truly say that, even righting this, seeing myself down the road standing at the fork in the road when the decision is to be made, to comfortably slide by, or to die to myself, to surrender my life wholly and unconditionally and lay it at the foot of the cross where my savior died for me, it makes me shiver. Will I have the faith? I want to say yes, but I truly can't answer that; I have absolutely no idea what that choice will look like, but I do know that it will come.

If this is a question that is weighing on your soul as well, you're not alone. I said at the beginning that I had no answers... I lied. I have but one. Pray. "Pray that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak (Mark 14:38)." Jesus said these words to his disciples as he was preparing to die on the cross. His disciples with him while he prayed to the Father, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will (Matt. 26:38b)." Even for Jesus it was hard. He was sweating drops of blood. I will never know how hard it was for Him. I can't expect the decision to be any less difficult for me. All I can do is pray and lean upon the power and sovereign love of Christ and God the Father.

Difficulty aside, I leave you with the eternal and sovereign words of Jesus: "whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

A Christmas Meditation

It is very nearly Christmas, and I have been meditating on a few passages lately relating to the Christmas story. These passages are John 1:19-23 and Isaiah 40:1-5. As I will show you, these passages are magnificently linked and carry a message that brings joy to billions of people around the world. In telling you this relationship, I will reveal to you (if you haven't already made this connection) a message that the scribes and priests of Israel (the social elite and the religious leaders of the time) missed when they heard it.

To start with, I want to give to you Isaiah 40:1-5, because one, it was written first, and two, with an understanding of this passage, the second will become all the more amazing.

Isaiah 40:1-5
Comfort, comfort my people, says your God. Speak tenderly to Jerusalem,
and cry to her
that her warfare is ended,
that her iniquity is pardoned,
that she has received from the LORD’s hand
double for all her sins.

A voice cries: "In the wilderness prepare the way of the LORD;
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be lifted up,
and every mountain and hill be made low;
the uneven ground shall become level,
and the rough places a plain.
And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together,
for the mouth of the LORD has spoken."

These words were spoken by the old testament prophet Isaiah, who is responsible for a large portion of the messianic prophesy that is contained in the old testament. In fact, Isaiah is the most commonly referenced prophet in the new testament. Let's look at what Isaiah says in these five verses. The first part, or first stanza of this passage is the most emotionally charged, as it relates directly to the condition of God's people, Israel. He says, in essence, the hard times are over and you will be ushered into the good times. You shall war no more and all your misdeeds will be pardoned, and you will be forgiven double the amount of your transgression!

This is an awesome statement, especially to a people like the people of Israel, that have been beaten, lost, enslaved, nearly annihilated, taken captive, persecuted, and have been continually under the judgement of a righteous God. For a people like that to hear the message "your strife is ended, and your sins are forgiven" is almost beyond words. But it goes on. The second part of this passage gives cause for further celebration. It tells the people of Israel to "Prepare the way of the LORD. Make everything ready to receive the LORD. It goes on to say that when this happens, "the glory of the LORD shall be revealed". You must remember that, at this point, the Jews (Israel) have lived for centuries serving, worshiping and following after God and they have seen a glimpse of His glory, and a sampling of His power. They saw a glimpse of His glory as His holy fire guided Israel through the desert, and they experienced a sampling of his power when He delivered them from Egypt after the ten plagues through the parted Red Sea. For a people who have seen these tidbits of His glory to hear "the glory of the LORD shall be revealed" is an awesome statement. It says to them that what they've seen so far is a glory masked. His true glory has been hidden from them and it shall soon be made clear. So, before I go on, I would like you to think about this passage and what it meant for the people of Israel. "Your warring and hardships are over and if you thought God was glorious before, you haven't seen anything yet." Think on this. I'll wait.

Okay, now I'd like to jump forward in time and look at the other passage mentioned at the beginning, John 1:19-23. This passage comes at the beginning of the letter of John recounting the account of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection, otherwise known as the Gospel.

John 1:19-23
And this is the testimony of John [the Baptist], when the Jews sent priests and Levites from Jerusalem to ask him, "Who are you?" He confessed, and did not deny, but confessed, "I am not the Christ." And they asked him, "What then? Are you Elijah?" He said, "I am not." "Are you the Prophet?" And he answered, "No." So they said to him, "Who are you? We need to give an answer to those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?" He said, "I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, 'Make straight the way of the Lord,' as the prophet Isaiah said."

This event takes place before Jesus started his ministry, when John the Baptist (not John the apostle) is still preparing the people of Israel for Jesus' message. He is baptizing people and preaching the forgiveness of Sins (which at this point in the history of Israel is very radical, almost heretical, because only the Sacrifices of Atonement can deal with sin). So, of course, the religious leaders of Israel send their people to find out who this guy is. They ask him just that, "Who are you?" It's odd, because if someone asked you or me "Who are you," the natural response would be to state our name; a positive answer-- I am Henry Bartel. But that's not what John says. In response to this question, he gives them a negative answer. He says "I am not the Christ", which means that he knew why they were there, which is to find out if this person preaching the forgiveness of sins was the prophesied Christ, or Elijah, who was to come before the Christ. So the Levites then ask him if he is Elijah, or the prophet, and he says no. After finding that John is not the Christ, or Elijah, or anyone they expected him to be, they ask him again, I'm sure in an exasperated tone, "Who are you? We need to give an answer to those who sent us." Then John drops the bomb that should have tipped them off. He quotes the prophet Isaiah, and says "I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, 'Make straight the way of the Lord,' as the prophet Isaiah said." Now, you should recognize that statement from the first passage we looked at. Here John only uses one line from this passage, but the men he is addressing are the priests of the Jews, and they know the entirety of scripture by heart and should recognize this passage instantly. They should know what John is referencing, and more than that, they should know what John is telling them by referencing this particular passage. He is telling them that the time is here which the passage in Isaiah prophesied. That the time of the revelation of the Glory of the LORD is at hand. He's telling them, and Israel, that their time of warring and strife is over and that the forgiveness of sins is close at hand. At these words of John, the Levites and priests that were questioning John should have seen this. But they were too concerned about getting to the bottom of this, what appeared to be, crazy man preaching forgiveness of sins that they missed his message completely.

This message, the message of John the Baptist, is preached every year in December around the world. The times of warring with the worries of this world are over, and the Glory of the LORD has been revealed. Jesus, God become man, has paid our debt and offers forgiveness on top of forgiveness. Make straight the path of the LORD in your heart and offer Him free passage into your life, he will reveal the glory of the LORD in you. The religious leaders of Jesus' time missed this because they were too concerned with appearances. The same message is here in front of you, will you see it? Will you embrace it? Will you rejoice at the coming of the Glory of the LORD. If so, make straight the way of the LORD. Make your mountains low and your valleys high, let go of your pride and self-pity. Open your heart and life to Jesus and he will make your rocky ground even and your rough places a plain. The glory of the LORD has been revealed, can you see it?

A Drunken Angel

This is an account of an extraordinary event that took place while I was going to college at Kansas State University in Manhattan Kansas. This event helped to shape my views about God the Father, about angels, and further demonstrated to me the sovereignty of God in everything. I can’t say for certain what really happened, I can only relate to you what I saw and experienced from my end, and from my mortal and finite perspective.

It all began in Aggieville at Radina’s Café, a local coffee shop here in Manhattan Kansas. It’s a place where people come to meat with friends, study, or just drink some coffee or espresso. I liked going there to have my “quite time”. Allow me explain. I have a circle of people that I like to hang out with; Christians that are sold out for Christ and using their lives to follow Him and make Him known, like me. We (this group of people and I) spend, or try to spend, a consistent time alone at times throughout the week, ideally every day, reading the Bible, studying it, meditating over it, reflecting on it and praying through it. This time is dedicated to spending time and communing with God one on one. During this time, we try and limit the distractions we encounter from the world around us, thus it is known as our “quiet time”. Anyway, I frequented Radina’s because I enjoyed having my quiet times there. One day, late morning, early afternoon, I came to Radina’s to spend some time alone, just me and God, and as I was reading, I noticed Allie, a friend of mine, outside sitting at one of the outdoor tables they have in front of the cafe. I continued to read and finished my quiet time, and then went out to sit and chat a bit with Allie. As I got outside, I saw that she was talking with a man that had just been walking by and had stopped to talk to her; he looked to be maybe in his thirties. So I asked if I could join their conversation and sat down beside her. I don’t remember what all we talked about, but through the course of the discussion, Allie and I learned that this man, Ken, was an alcoholic and a severe alcoholic at that. Ken shared with us that he couldn’t go for very long without alcohol in his system or else the delirium trimmers would render him all but incapacitated. He also shared with us that because of this, he had really lost his desire to live. His quality of life had been degraded so much by his addiction to alcohol that he really didn’t care anymore that his addiction would ultimately kill him. We also found out that Ken was on his way to Rusty’s Last Chance (a fitting name), a bar in the area, to basically drink himself to death. He had decided that he was going to go drink until he either passed out or died, or both. Clearly moved by this, Allie begged him not to go. Later, she said she couldn’t explain why she had done this except that the Holy Spirit had come upon her and told her not to let this man do this. She begged him not to go to the bar, and in the process persuaded him to let her help him. After asking him some questions and determining what would be of the most benefit, she offered to take him to the emergency room, and he accepted. She asked me to come along, because she didn’t think she could do this alone. Moved by pity, by compassion, and probably a lot by the Holy Spirit, I agreed, so we drove him to Mercy Medical here in Manhattan. When we got there, the staff of the emergency room were very helpful and gracious. From what I remember, the process of checking him in and getting him the care he needed went abnormally smooth, especially considering we knew nothing about Ken, we weren’t related to him, and from what I can remember, he wasn’t really in much of a shape to answer questions or fill out paperwork.

After he got checked in, the nurse put us in a room off to the side, hooked Ken up to an I.V. drip that would help tame his DT’s as his body started to react to the lack of alcohol in his system. She put us in a tiny room off to the side of the nurses’ station, Allie, me and Ken, and then left, probably to go do some paper work or something. So while we were in this room alone with Ken, we began to ask Ken some questions. We began to talk to Ken, and Ken began to open up to us. He began to tell us all about himself, how he used to have a family, how he used to have a wife and kids, and how his addiction to alcohol stripped him of all those things. He told us that he was disgusted with himself because of his addiction. He said that if he were in bed with a beautiful woman and a six pack of beer, he would choose the beer over the woman. He told us how his addiction pushed his family away, and forced his wife to leave him and take their kids with her. He told us that he had no idea where they were, or even how to find them. This addiction had Ken in a strangle hold, and it was obvious he wanted out. After hearing this, I felt certain that this man needed to hear about Christ, and that he needed to hear it now, from Allie and me. I began to explain to him what he already knew, that he was in a pit of remorse, of pain, and of perpetuating self destruction; a pit that was too deep for him to get out of by himself, and would continue to get deeper and deeper. As I said, this he already knew because he had basically told us this in not so many words. Then I told him about Jesus. I told him that while he cannot get out of that pit, there is someone that can get him out. I used the imagery of Christ standing outside that pit on solid ground, extending his hand to Ken. I told him how Christ had suffered and died as a substitute in our stead for our sins, and how he was raised up from the death that came from those sins to gain power over them; power that he freely offers us. I said, “Ken, you can’t get out of this pit. You can’t do this by yourself; it’s too deep. But Jesus can help you.” I explained to Ken how, in the power of Christ that he freely offers us, we can conquer sin (and addictions) and rise above it. I explained that all he had to do was reach out and take the hand of Jesus that He was offering him. With tears in my eyes I laid out before him the Gospel.

As he was looking at the both of us, with tears in his own eyes, partly from, I imagine, his acknowledgement that he wanted and desperately needed what Jesus had to offer, and partly from the fact, as he admitted, that we, Allie in particular, reminded him of his children. He began to ask her questions, and Allie began to open up to Ken. She started telling him things about herself, about school, about her own family, and then she came to the subject of her father. She explained to Ken that her father, when she was young, died of alcohol poisoning. Her father was an alcoholic. She told Ken that she would give anything to see her father again, and she wished that she could talk to him, get to know him and look into his eyes again. As she was telling him this, Ken began to visibly break down. I could see in his eyes and his body language that he was deeply moved by what Allie was telling him. Allie leaned forward and looked him square in the eyes; she got up on the edge of her seat and asked Ken to promise her that he would not do to his children what her father had done to her; that he would not leave them not knowing who their father was and not having a chance to find out. At this point, Allie had tears running down her cheeks, and Ken was all but weeping. Ken made that promise to her, and went on to tell her how much he still loved his wife, and especially his children. How he wanted so much to hold them in his arms again and tell them that he loved them. We talked for a little while more, about what, I can’t remember, and then the nurse came in and took Ken to one of the examining rooms where doctors could begin the initial de-tox treatments. We were not allowed with him beyond that point, since we weren’t family, so we said goodbye, Allie gave him her phone number and email and told him to get in contact with her when he was better, and we left. I can’t remember most of what happened the rest of that day, only that we both went our separate ways. She went to go talk over what had just happened with a friend and mentor of hers, and I went back to my dorm room to process what had just happened.

A week later, Allie and I met together again at Radina’s to talk about what had happened. Allie, through talking with her friend, had discovered what she believed (and I would agree, given the facts) to be the reason for this all having taken place. She told me that through helping Ken, and through Ken telling her about his children, she gained a perspective on her father that she had never seen before. Through Ken, she saw how her own father saw her, and loved her as his daughter. Through this incident, God had allowed her to see through her father’s eyes. As she was telling me this, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind an amazing, and simply breath-taking verse. Hebrews 13:2, which says “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” As I verbally processed this verse and what it meant, I stumbled across this truth: Angels, being citizens of heaven and empowered by God, do not need our help. Anything that they need they will get from God. So what is the purpose of “entertaining angels”? That’s when it hit me. God doesn’t send us to help his angels, he sends his angels to help us. Any time we “entertain angels unawares” we are helping in such a way that will benefit us, not the angel; the angel needs no help. We both came to the conclusion at that moment that Ken had been an angel from God. He had come from nowhere, had no past as far as we could tell (with the exception of what he had related to us), no real identity, other than “Ken” and played a very large role in what you might consider an act of God. He’d come to give Allie closure to her relationship, or lack thereof, with her father. God had reconciled that relationship in order that she could have a right view of what it means to be a father, and what a father’s love looks like so that she could come into a closer, more intimate relationship with God, her Heavenly Father. She told me later that she had no expectation of Ken ever contacting her. He had done what he was placed there to do, and gone on to whatever was next, whether that is back to heaven, or back to wherever he might be from.

On that day, I gained a whole new perspective on what God’s interaction with us, his children, looks like, and I know that Allie gained a new perspective on her relationship with God. That is the story of Ken, and how he, whoever he was, changed Allie’s life and helped me to gain a broader perspective on who God is in just one afternoon.

I count myself blessed to have been a part of this experience, and I hope that you too, through reading this, have been blessed, in whatever capacity God has chosen to do so. Thank you for taking the time to read what I’ve written, and God bless.

Faith Without Love

Galatians 5:6

For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcnision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

James 2:15-17

If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and filled," without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.


These two verses highlight the fact that true faith will always be accumpanied by good works. As James says, only faith producing works is true faith, and paul says in Galatians that this faith is the only thing that counts. This is an issue that has been addressed many times in many places, so instead simply talking about it and explaining it again, I'm going to take this idea, this truth and I'm going to run with it and draw it out in another area of life other than faith; expand the scope of this statement.

To start off with, lets establish that what James says is indeed correct. For starters I can tell you that it is correct because it is written in the Bible. 2 Timothy 3:16 says "All scripture is God-breathed", meaning that all scripture, though written by man, is the direct transcription of the Holy Spirit; the very words of God. Secondly, lets look at the logic of James' statement. He says, in essence, faith that does not produce fruit is not faith. Jesus himself says something along these lines. "Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. (Matt. 7:16-18)." The definition of faith, according to Dictionary.com is "confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another's ability." So, to have faith in Jesus is to trust Jesus and his promises. It means to trust that he has our best interest in mind, and to trust that what he says is true. He (Jesus) says "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Do you trust him? If yes, than the natural product of this trust will be a willingness and even an eagerness to "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness." If that willingness and eagerness isn't there, than it should be apparent that neither is the trust. Just like if a tree claims to be a fig tree, but it produces thistles, it should be apparent that the tree is not a fig tree. So, the logic makes sense: faith that does not produce works is not faith.

At the start, I said I was going to take this idea and run with it; draw out some of the implications that this idea has in another area of life, particularly love. At the beginning, you can see written out Galatians 5:6, which says "For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcnision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Paul here is basically saying the same thing as James. But he uses an important key word. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through LOVE." If the only thing that counts is faith producing love, I would think it is of some importance to understand what love looks like. To start to explore this question, lets see what God has to say about it. In the Gospel of John, he says in chapter three, verse sixteen, ""For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." What does this passage say about love? "For God so loved the world...", or God loved the world so much that... "he gave his only Son." God loved the world, so out of that love came a great and costly sacrifice. That points to a pretty extreme definition of love. Or here in John 15:12-13, we hear Jesus come out and say what John 3:16 is pointing to, "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." Here Jesus says very plainly, that love, pure love, is "that someone lay down his life for his friends." Now let's apply this new definition of love to our life. What implications does that have. What are you really saying when you say you love someone? Are you saying that you would be willing to lay your life down for that person? And if this is the case, if the opportunity comes or the need arises to lay down your life for this person and you don't, is it really love? Now, before we get too far into this, I need to clarify the term "lay down your life." When I say this, I don't mean give up my life (a.k.a. die), though that is in the scope of this phrase. What I'm talking about is setting your own life aside, or even re-organizing or redefining your own life for the betterment of the one you love. This doesn't always mean to die, but if a situation arose in which your death would be the most benificial to the one you love, it would fit into the phrase laying down your life. Keeping all this in mind, let's look at another one of Jesus' commandments. In Matthew 19:19, Jesus says "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." So, we are not to just love those we care about, but we are to love our neighbors (everyone around us). How are we supposed to love, really love everyone around us? How can we lay down our lives in a way that will be most beneficial to the people around us? What is the one thing that we could do that would be of ultimate benefit? the answer to this sounds like it comes from Sunday school, but it's true. We show them the way to Jesus. Not only that, but we show them the beauty of Jesus by doing just what Jesus commanded us: Loving them as Jesus loved us. Jesus loved us so much that he gave himself for our salvation, so we are to love others sacrificially, putting aside our personal agenda's and our own desires in order that we can show others the Wonderful Savior.

Getting back on track, we started by examining the statement "faith without works is not faith", so lets continue in that thought process by asking the question, is love without sacrifice still love? We've already defined love as sacrificially living in order to show others to Jesus. Going back again to the analogy of the tree and it's fruit, if we say we love, but we don't live in a way that reflects this, what does that say about our claim to be loving? We can say that we love people, we can even tell people about Jesus, but unless our life matches our claim, unless we live in such a way to display the sacrificial love of Jesus, our claim to love is a lie. So if the fruit of faith is love, and the fruit of love is a sacrificial life, if we are not living a sacrificial life, what does that say about our claim to have faith? If love means living sacrificially, and we do not live a sacrificial life, than that would seem to suggest that we do not have love. And if the fruit of faith is love, and we do not have love, that would seem to suggest that we don't have faith. I'll leave you with this challenge. Look closely at your life. Examine the way you live and how you treat the people around you. Take every opportunity to "be Jesus" to those around you; to live in a sacrificial way that exhibits the love of Christ and leads the ones around you to a faith in Christ that produces love. By all means, don't stop telling people about Christ, but as you talk the talk, walk the walk.

Believe

What Does It Mean to Believe in Jesus?

The Bible says in many places that all someone needs to do to be saved from eternal damnation and to be able to claim many promises made by God is simply “believe.” But believe what? Many Christians (if not all of them) will tell you that that means believe in Christ Jesus. But, what does that mean? What does it mean to “believe in Christ Jesus?”

To answer this question, I’m going to turn to a book that often sheds light on the meanings of various things in life: The Oxford Dictionary. The definition that the Oxford Dictionary gives for our particular usage of the word “believe” is as follows:

Believe- intr. (foll. by in) a have faith in the existence of (believes in God). b have confidence in (a remedy, a person, etc.)(believes in alternative medicine). c have trust in the advisability of (believes in telling the truth).

This definition presents us with three options: a, b, or c. Let’s take them one by one and try and decipher which one of these option is the one that we need for the phrase in question.

To start with, let’s look at option “c.” If we were to replace the word believe with this definition, would the phrase we are questioning convey the message that it was intended to? “One only needs to [trust in the advisability of] Christ Jesus.” Does this sound like the gospel message? If you said no, you are right; but why? The definition in option “c” simply recognizes the soundness of Christ Jesus, or the fact that the decision to accept Christ is a good one. Option “c”, in the context of our phrase says all anybody needs to be saved is to see the benefit, or the ‘goodness’ of choosing Christ. While that recognition might lead to an acceptance of Christ into one’s heart and life, it does not require it, so we can cross option “c” off the list of possible definition of “believe.”

What about option “a?” That one sounds like it might be close, doesn’t it? Let’s find out: “One only needs to [have faith in the existence of] Christ Jesus.” That sounds pretty close, but is that the gospel message? If you said yes, than I need to tell you that you are wrong, and I’ll tell you why straight from scripture. In James chapter 2, verse 19, James writes “You believe that God is one; you do well. Even the demons believe – and shudder!” In this verse, James is telling us that simply to believe God or Christ exists is no extraordinary feat; even the demons and the very Lord of Hell believe in His existence, and they are terrified. Because the demons of Hell believe with option “a”, we can confidently rule it out as the answer to our question since they (the demons) use option “a” and are still damned to Hell.

So that leaves us with the only remaining option, option “b”, which refers to confidence. Let’s see if this definition fits into our phrase. “One only needs to [have confidence in] Christ Jesus.” Is this the Gospel message? If you said yes, you are correct! Another way of phrasing option “b” is to simply say “trust;” one only needs to [trust] Christ Jesus in order that he might be saved. So all we need to do to be saved is to trust Christ. But what must we trust him for? The answer here is simple: Everything. We can see in the four gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) that Christ trusted God for everything, from the food he ate to the people he healed, to his very spirit as he hung upon the cross. Christ calls us to follow him; just as he put all of his trust in the Father, we must put all of our trust in him. What does that mean? That means that we trust Christ for our faith, for our salvation, for our spiritual health, for our physical health, and it goes on and on, even down to the minutest detail of our lives; the food we eat, the cloths we wear, the money we need to live, shelter, everything. Matthew 6:32-33 says “for the gentiles seek after all these things, and your Heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.” In other words, trust Christ first, and he will take care of the rest. That is what it means to “believe in Christ.” But going back to our dictionary definitions, I think that it needs to be said that both options, “a” and “c,” must be present in order for option “b” to be possible, but only option “b” will result in the salvation of your soul that Jesus Christ offers.

Do you believe?

This note was found on the desk of a young pastor from Africa as his desk was being cleared off after he’d been martyred for his faith.

The Fellowship of the Unashamed

I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I’m a disciple of His and I won’t look back, let up, slow down back away, or be still. My past is redeemed. My present makes sense. My future is secure. I’m done and finished with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, mundane talking, cheap living, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, or first, or tops, or recognized, or praised, or rewarded. I live by faith, lean on his presence, walk by patience, lift by prayer, and labor by the Holy Spirit's power. My face is set. My gait is fast. My goal is heaven. My road may be narrow, my way rough, my companions few, but my guide is reliable and my mission is clear. I will not be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, deluded or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice or hesitate in the presence of the adversary. I will not negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, prayed up, paid up and preached up for the cause of Christ. I am a disciple of Jesus. I must give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until he comes. And when he does come for his own, He’ll have no problems recognizing me. My colors will be clear!

Spiritual Excercise

It’s the middle of February and spring is beginning to peak its beautiful head around the corner. At the tail end of a frigid winter, a glimmer of sunshine carrying with it the warmth of a new spring creates all manor of different inspirations and thoughts. For some, the warmth means they can finally crawl out of the layers upon layers of clothing they don over the winter months; for others it means that they will enjoy the flowers and birds as they share their beauty. For me, one of the inspirations that I experiences was the motivation or the urge to become physically active again. With the spring weather comes memories of baseball games, outdoor escapades such as camping or catching a game of Ultimate Frisbee on the quad after class. The call to be active is strong, and I know that it will be fun and refreshing, but I also know with that fun and refreshment will come frustration; frustration at the limitations of my body which has been relatively inactive all winter. Almost instantly upon prolonged physical acitivity, I will feel the strain of physical activity on my cardio-vascular system as I hear my heart in my ears and begin to breathe hard and my sides begin to ache. My legs begin to turn into jelly and my muscles will be sore for days afterwards. Even though I love the activity outdoors, my body just can’t keep up with the demands that I put on it.

There is a way around this problem however. That solution involves being physically active all the time; some call it training, others ‘working out’. When spring comes and I have a desire to be more active, if I’ve been active throughout the winter, keeping my heart and lungs in shape, and maintaining the endurance of my muscles, I will have no problem (or at least less of a problem) when spring comes around and I want to participate in those things that give me great joy, such as baseball/softball and Ultimate Frisbee. If I’ve been consistently active; if I’ve made an intentional effort to exercise on a regular basis, when I do those things that tax my body, I will be able to enjoy those things longer, and I will be able to make a greater contribution to my team (if it’s a team sport), or otherwise be more able to ‘win’ what ever game it is that I’m playing.

In 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Paul is instructing Timothy to “Have nothing to do with irreverent silly myths. Rather train yourself for godliness [because] while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.” Paul is telling Timothy here, that while physical exercise is a good thing (don’t stop); spiritual exercise is a better thing. In much the same way that you or I would exercise or train our bodies so that we can effectively and joyfully participate in activities that come in the spring, Paul instructs Timothy (and us) to exercise our spirits as well, so that when a season of spiritual activity comes around, we will be able to take full advantage of it. If we don’t exercise our spirit, when a spiritual “spring” comes about, we will long to participate in the activities that are able to be done in that season, but like my experience with physical activity after a season of inactivity, we will try to do the things needed to be done but will become frustrated by the lack of ability, the lack of stamina, the lack of training to really excel at what we are attempting. Our spirits will begin to give out. Impatience will begin to creep in; the taxing of our spirits will leave us sore and aching, unable to be effective in the spiritual arena.

The author of the book of Hebrews echoes this encouragement to spiritual fitness in chapter 12 when he says in verse 1 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” If you are among those that make an effort to keep your body in shape, or to be fit, I say to you how more should you strive to exercise your spirit and maintain its ‘fitness’. The spiritual ‘spring’ is here. Jesus tells us the harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few. We are among those few laborers, let’s make an intentional effort to maximize our effectiveness by maintaining our spiritual fitness so that we can “run and not grow weary”; so that our spirits can better keep up with the demands God puts on them. I encourage you (and myself), the next time you ‘workout’ or exercise, to think about how you are exercising your spirit. There are many different ways; no one right way, but many effective ways. Just as everybody has their preferred method of physical training, find your preferred method of spiritual training.

Make yourself uncomfortable, force your spirit to grow by stretching it, by breaking it, and by coming back to Jesus to let it rest and heal. Whatever you need to do to make that happen, get it done for the purpose of spiritual exercise, knowing that someday you will enter a time of spiritual activity and you will be able to endure and win the prize, whether that be your own faith, the faith of another, or even the salvation of others. Train yourselves during the seasons of spiritual winter so that you can run with endurance in the spiritual springs in your life.